A time for refreshment.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV)



One of my favorite weeks of the entire year has come and gone, but not uneventfully. This last week was a time of spiritual refreshment. A time to celebrate, to remember, to share, and to love.

Monday started the week off with a bang! My roommate and I had the opportunity to share the story of Jesus' birth, life, death, and resurrection with our language teacher, Usha. I shared in my last post about the missed opportunity, but God is faithful and provided another one for us. We asked if we could tell her the gospel in Nepali (to the best of our abilities). She listened intently as we talked about the nativity, helping us form sentences and giving us words we didn't know in Nepali. Then she sat in amazement as we talked about Jesus' miracles and the way he lived his life on earth. And she was on the edge of her seat, literally, as we shared about his arrest, imprisonment, judgment, sentence, and death. And relieved when he finally rose from the dead on that third day. It was an incredible time of remembrance for us. There were so many parts of the story we had forgotten, that we don't focus on in this season. And it reminded me of the true sacrifice it was to send Jesus here. And the incredible love story I am privileged and humbled to be a part of.

 

When explaining the Nativity story, we used our Nativity set to illustrate. And since there's no King Herod in a Nativity set, naturally we used a stuffed doll.

 

 

Next thing I knew, Christmas was here! We had a friend stay the night on Christmas Eve, and we woke up the next morning and got dressed in our saris (yay!). Then it was off to Nepali church! I had been working with some of the boys from the campus on a Christmas nativity drama, and Wednesday was the big day. We hurriedly dressed them, and waited outside the church for our cue. They entered, found there places, and began to depict the precious story of our Lord, come to earth. To say it went off without a hitch would be a lie...it was far from perfect. But in my eyes, and I know in the Lord's eyes, it shouldn't have happened any other way. They were so proud! And it was a great time of bonding for me and those boys.

They were a little anxious right before show-time...

 

And the Holy Spirit didn't stop working there...

Friday we held a bible study for the women who live at our campus. Kimberley, one of the missionaries on my team, gave a study on suffering. How God gives us trials for different reasons. What a great reminder. "Count it all JOY my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds" James 1:2. I know that in the trials I have faced so far, joy hasn't been my go to...and I'm sure it won't be my first instinct in the future. But I was reminded of a sovereign, loving God who always has the best planned for me. And my soul was refreshed.

Then came Saturday. Girls club. The HIGHLIGHT of my work here. I absolutely love getting the chance to pour into these girls. To teach them about Jesus, about the Bible, and about themselves. We learned about Ruth this last Saturday. How she trusted her heart to God. How God provided for her, because she was faithful and loyal, not only to Him but to Naomi. And how because her heart was sold out to Jesus, God brought the right man, Boaz, into Ruth's life at just the right time. As our activity, I encouraged the girls to write two letters, one to God and one to their future husbands. The latter resulted in hushed giggles. I told them it's important to communicate with God. Yes, He is omnipresent, and He already knows everything that is happening in your life. BUT He wants to hear it from YOU. That's part of being in a relationship. Communication. And the letter to their future husbands, which seemed like such a foreign concept to them, proved to be their favorite one! They wrote about their hopes and dreams, their lives now. How they are praying for their husbands even now, and their assurance that God has orchestrated their marriages. What a blessing these girls are to me.

Now that I have been gifted with a week of spiritual refreshment, God has given me another gift! An opportunity for physical refreshment. This Friday night I'm leaving to go to the Philippines and Thailand for 10 days. My roommate and I will meet up with her mom and spend time basking in God's creation. I wasn't expecting to have this kind of opportunity in my time spent in Nepal, but God had other plan in mind. I'm looking forward to warm weather, shower heads fixed to the wall, beaches, and STARBUCKS.

And I'm looking forward to the next lesson God has for me. Whatever it may be.

What is the point?

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." (Romans 1:16 ESV)


Christmas time is upon us! This is my second favorite holiday ever, second only slightly to Easter.

It's strange celebrating Christmas in Nepal. My roommate and I decorated our flat to the nines...lights, ornaments, trees, stockings, beads. Everything needed to make it feel like I'm celebrating Christmas at home. And then I step outside, and it's just another day. No lights. No Christmas trees in the town square. No bustle of Christmas shoppers buying gifts last minute. No Christmas spirit.

Which makes me ask myself, what's the point? Why do we concern ourselves so much with decorations, presents, and atmosphere when that's not what it's all about? Now, I love Christmas. I would celebrate it all year long if I could (yes, I'm one of those Christmas-music-the-day-after-Halloween-is-ok kind of people). But if we striped away all the frivolities, go back to the core, would we still be as excited about the Christmas season?

This Wednesday during my language lesson I was telling my teacher, Usha, about Christmas. How we decorate, buy presents for each other, eat special foods, and spend time with loved ones. And the whole time, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think "none of this matters without Jesus."

Usha told me how her 12-year-old son LOVES Christmas. She's Hindu. So is he. But at school the teachers talk about Christmas as an American holiday. They even share the story of Jesus! She said that her son wants to celebrate Christmas so that he can get presents. But Usha said they won't be celebrating it this year. She "just doesn't understand the story of Jesus." What an opportunity God handed me. On a silver platter.

And what did I do?

I scooted around it. Pretended it wasn't happening. I told myself that I shouldn't offend her by talking about my relationship with Jesus.

So I didn't say anything. I just smiled politely and continued talking about my Christmas traditions.

I haven't stopped kicking myself. I am so ashamed and angry that I didn't talk about the ONE THING that matters most to me. The one thing that could save her life.

If nothing else, a seed of truth could have been planted in her heart. Maybe Jesus wouldn't be so confusing for her.

Since then, every time I spend time with God, I am convicted. Reminded of the incredible opportunity to change a life. How I skirted around it. How I was uncomfortable. Maybe it's my guilty conscious, or maybe it's God reminding me of the point of Christmas.

It's not the lights. It's not the gifts. It's not spending time with family that you haven't seen all year. Those things are nice, I get it. I love those things! But if that was all taken away. If all we were left with was the simple, yet complicated truth of the gospel...would I get as worked up about it? Would I want to celebrate Christmas as much, or as long?

I sure hope the answer would be yes.

This season has been one of realization for me. I have never been so effected by the birth of Jesus Christ as I have been here in Nepal. I have never wanted Christmas to be so much about HIM as I have this last month.

The point of Christmas is to give honor, glory, and praise due to God. To celebrate the beginning of a beautiful love story. The most beautiful of all time. The ultimate sacrifice, that we tend to sweep under the rug, and replace with failing, passing excitement. The love of THINGS, not the love of GOD.

And how that breaks my heart.

My roommate and I have resolved that tomorrow at my language lesson we are going to share the story of Jesus' birth with my teacher. How God loves us more than we could ever hope to fathom. How he gave up his son to a depraved world. To be mocked, scorned, and ultimately killed. All so we could know him. Have a RELATIONSHIP with him. And this is how it began. Jesus. Born in a manger. A humble life, a humble man, an incredible God.

At a time when I should be heart broken because I can't be home celebrating Christmas with my family, I am at peace. God is bringing me back to the REAL reason for the season. He is constantly reminding me of his affection for me, his ultimate provision, and his all encompassing sovereignty.

So today I am thankful for THE Jesus. Thankful for reality checks. For opportunities to talk about my incredible savior. To rest in the peace that God has to offer.

I am thankful that JESUS is the point.

Living simply, or simply living?

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful." (Colossians 3:14-15 ESV)


Today my rommie and I took a micro van to a town about an hour away. Our kaamko Didi (a sweet, elderly Christian lady who comes twice a week to do our laundry and wash our dishes) had invited us over for lunch. I absolutely love our Didi, she always has a smile on her face, and a song in her heart.

I knew that she lived in a small house, and didn't have much money. Her husband is a pastor, and his church can't support them financially. But I was quite surprised when I got there, to see the two of them living in the flat above the church they pastor, in a room that is smaller than my bedroom. It held their kitchen, a cabinet/dresser, an armoire, and two twin beds. She busily cooked us lunch, and she and her daughter served us rice, potatoes, beans, and spinach with paneer (a tofu-like cheese that I have a very hard time ingesting).

I kept thinking, "I wonder how they can live like this?" Truth is, they barely can. The can hardly afford to live there, but they trust in God to provide for them each step of the way. We laughed, chatted, and visited for 2 hours, and then we were on our way. And still, I couldn't shake it for some reason. Why do they seem so happy to live like that? Don't they know what they are missing?

Then this evening my roommate and I met up with three of our friends and we went to have devotions and dinner at the campus where I work. And Peter, one of the house-dads, gave a great lesson on burning your worldly desires. Being thankful for what you have, and placing your dreams at the foot of the cross.

As he continued in the lesson, I noticed something...he would always say "the Jesus." Honestly, I giggled at first. It was a funny English-as-a-second-language thing. But the more he said it, the more it resonated in my heart. THE Jesus. Not A Jesus. Not MY Jesus. But THE JESUS. He is the only one. The only God.

And again, that familiar tune of "He is enough" was sung to my heart.

Didi has that. She has THE Jesus.

I want that. I have MY Jesus. But I want him to be more than that to me. I want him to be THE Jesus.

To me, that means He trumps EVERYTHING in my life. I find COMPLETE satisfaction in Him. Being disappointed about missing this season of The Biggest Loser (which truly is a heart warming show), putting my morning cup of coffee and breakfast before my devotions, and valuing money and recognition about Him have NO PLACE in my life.

That, to me, is the difference between living simply, and simply living. Without THE Jesus, your life just kind of floats. Not a lot of meaning or purpose. Not a lot of anything worth while. Just a lot of things. But living simply, that's where I want to be. I want to be content and satisfied with only THE Jesus.

I want to put my worldly desires away. To come empty handed to Him. THE JESUS. Knowing, trusting, that in Him I will find complete rest.

Perfectly in His image.

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV)

This week I was reminded of an amazing truth. One that I find peace, shelter, and comfort in.

This past weekend I ran the first meeting of a girls club that I have started here. I was expecting 10 or 12 girls (all from our campus) to come after church last Saturday, and probably only because the house mom, Rita, told them they had to. But when I entered the room, 19 smiling faces looked at me. 19! What a blessing.

I timidly began teaching on the story of Rahab, an incredible woman who God used to exact his will in the city of Jericho. We learned about courage, faith, and trust in God. And the more I taught, the more engaged the girls seemed to be. And the closer they leaned in. As the spies came, were hidden, and kept safe by the mother of Boaz. And as God provided for her every step of the way.

Then we discussed the woman behind the story. Rahab. A prostitute. An ordinary, sinful woman who found favor in God's eyes. We talked about honoring our bodies, and giving them honor because God dwells inside of us.

I told these young women how God made them UNIQUE. BEAUTIFUL. And how every time we see the flaws that we think we have, or we are upset with our appearance, we break God's heart. He worked SO HARD to make us JUST the way we are. And we need to celebrate that. We talked about how we don't belong to ourselves. How we are not in charge of our lives, our bodies. Because Jesus BOUGHT US.

Little did I know that at the end of the week, during a bible study with the women at our campus, God was going to reiterate the same, glorious truth to me. We read 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 together (quoted above). And I began to get emotional. As I pictured my Jesus, my savior, hung on the cross. Giving EVERYTHING for me. Because he loves me, his daughter, that much. It's something that I don't fully understand. Something that leaves me speechless.

Something that I am RESTING IN this week. I am reveling in this truth.

That God gave up everything for me. I am the daughter of THE King. And he spent time designing my hazel eyes, sculpting my prominent nose, and frizzing my hair to perfection.

At the end of girls club, I gave each girl a piece of paper and a pen. I told them they could do one of two things...either draw a self portrait, looking at themselves through God's eye, or they could write about themselves. Saying what was unique about themselves. I gave them about 10 minutes, and at the end I took a picture of each girl with her paper.

Here are some of my favorites that I wanted to share with you...

Erusha, grade 5, "I like my hair because in front of my hair there is curly but in the back it is straight."

Jenny, a girl from the community, "Oh! My dressing styles are very good. I laugh very well. My face gets red when I laugh much."

Sanjina, age 9, "I like my face because when I went to the outside in the sun my cheeks will be pink."

 

 

 

These girls get it. It's not about being perfect, and being a cookie cutter, like we are expected to be. It's about celebrating YOU. And how you were made different. It's about loving yourself because Christ loves you, and made you perfectly in his image.

I hope that these young ladies encourage you to look at yourself through the lens of Jesus Christ, and what he thinks of you. Not what society says, not what media says, not what your friends and family say. Those things are temporary, they will pass. But Jesus paid the ULTIMATE price for you. And he wants to you be concerned ONLY with him. Seek his face, run after him. Rest in the truth that He BOUGHT you. You are his. What a glorious thing.

Thankfulness vs Despair

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, no angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39 ESV)

I want to be honest with all of you, and I don't want to fudge the truth or to paint things to be different than how they are. So this post is going to be straight from my heart. A real life glimpse into me.

This week was hard. The hardest I've had so far, by a long shot. It would be a grave error to say that it sucked. I learned a lot this week, was reminded of a lot this week, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But it wasn't easy.

My heart hurts. A lot. I miss home; my house, my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my church, FAMILIARITY. I can't explain it other than it's a physical pain. A knot in my chest. A throat tight from trying not to cry. Throbbing eyes from tears held back, and those that breached.

Mostly I was just mopey, although I did lose my cool a few times. Don't get me wrong, Nepal still holds my heart, very fiercely. But I was slightly less enchanted by it this week. Irritated by the dust that I'm constantly caked in, frustrated by the continual honking of horns. Unreasonably disappointed that I can't find the right balance of shampoo and conditioner to make my hair manageable and not greasy (it's the little things).

But mostly I'm sad.

Sad that I can't hug my parents. Or have lunch with aunt and grandparents on a Saturday. Or plan a visit to Montana to see my family. I can't sing absurd car karaoke with my best friend and not have a care in the world. I can't go for a walk on the Mill Creek trails with my boyfriend. I can't have regular Wednesday lunches with my friends.

And yet, GOD IS STILL GOOD.

I was reminded this week that God doesn't just want me to look for him in everyday things. He wants me to SEEK him, all day, in everything I do. He is enough. I don't need little things like rain or Starbucks (although I would willingly walk in bare feet on hot coals for a mile to get a Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte). Those things are great, and there are many things here that I can see God in, I can see him moving and working. But HE IS ENOUGH.

He is the ultimate everything. Comforter, protector, provider, lover, forgiver. And I am THANKFUL and GRATEFUL that he is holding my hand, and my heart.

Once I let that sink in, I began to notice a change in my heart. I was reminded that I may not be able to do all of those things I'm used to, and all of those things that I want to, but I know that it's for a reason. God is allowing my heart to hurt for a reason. I don't know what it is, and I may never know. But I'm ok with that. Because there is NOTHING that can separate me from his love. He has PROMISED to never leave me. And he works ALL THINGS together for my good.

Praise God for reminders that this won't be forever. That feeling this way won't last for longer than the blink of an eye. And praise God for my roommate! Her listening ear, encouraging spirit, and for making my first Thanksgiving away from home bearable.

So for now, I will CHOOSE thankfulness. I will choose to wait on the Lord. I will choose to seek HIM, not the things that he has to offer me. My life is about so much more than this moment. And I will remain faithful to the call that God has placed on my heart.

Thank you for praying for me this last week, I cannot imagine how hard it would have been without your prayers. They helped me get through a long week, and helped me rely on God even more.

My prayer this week is that God will continue to pull me nearer to himself. To show himself to me a little more each day. That I would continue to fall more and more in love with my Jesus. And I would ask that you pray that along with me. Not only for me, but for yourself! That God would continue to be enough for you each and every day.

A Random Smattering.

"May the God of hope will you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Romans 15:13 ESV)


I have to brag on God a little more right now. I am LOVING my time here in Nepal. He is giving me strength, peace, patience, hope, and joy. I am so incredibly thankful for those gifts. I am in a time of abundance and blessing in my life.

This time around, again, my blog post is going to be littered with a random smattering of occurrences that made up my last week. It was an interesting one, to say the least.

This last week was election week here in Nepal (thank you to those of you who were praying). It was a strange week. Monday night, as my roommate and I were laying on her bed watching Downton Abbey on her laptop, we heard bombs going off. After doing some research, and hearing from several different people, we found out that they went off in Kuleshwar, about 2 miles from where we live. It was a strange experience lying in bed that night with the sound of bombs lulling me to sleep, and not a very goodnights sleep, either. Tuesday (election day) was fairly uneventful. Millions of people made their way to the polls peacefully. Praise God!

I continued language learning this week. My teacher has the misconception that I am gifted at speaking languages (I can barely speak English). She is throwing a lot at me, and it's a little overwhelming. My roommate is a gem, and is helping me study in between my classes, which are three times a week. We even try to study ahead sometimes (adding to my teacher's misconception, I'm sure). I'm excited to continue learning Nepali! I love seeing peoples faces light up when I try and have a conversation with them (TRY being the keyword).

Another glimpse into my new life...I got hit by a bicycle this week! I was walking to the store, he was toting empty water jugs on the back of his bike. We made eye contact, he tried to steer around me. His front wheel hit a rock, and I knew it: there would be a collision. The Nepali man lost his balance, and his bike started to tip towards me. In a last ditch effort, I tried to jump out of the way, but I was too late. His front handle bar slammed into my right hip and sent me to the ground. My rear end is a little sore, and I have a righteous bruise on my hip...but it's all a part of the adventure!

Thursday I took my roommate down to our campus to meet some of the kids. We laughed, played hopscotch, listened to the little girls sing, and helped with some studying. I loved how eager the younger girls were to include, play with, and love on my roomie. Friday I practiced English with Sunu and Junu, the two ladies who work at our pasal (that's store in Nepali). They are such a joy to be around! They love to giggle, make language mistakes, teach me Nepali, and soak in the English lessons. Although I don't have much to teach them, I love getting to spend time with these two ladies.

This last Friday was my mom's 29th birthday (you're welcome, Mom). I have to admit that it made me incredibly homesick. But it gave me another opportunity to lean on the Comforter. And when I was feeling pretty low, I was able to think back  on memories that my mom and I have together. While looking at pictures and videos brings on the water works, I loved sitting in my living room with a cup of tea and a blanket that my mom's grandma had made, and knowing how much sweeter those memories will become as this year goes on.

This morning I had the chance to lead worship at the international church I attend here. It was a blast! I loved being able to have that opportunity, and to get to play alongside friends of mine. I loved worshipping with people from all over the world. I met three siblings visiting from Finland, a girl my age from Canada, and a lady from England. All before lunch! I'm excited to be a part of the worship team here, and I can't wait to continue to serve in that way!

This next week is going to be a difficult one for me...it's Thanksgiving. My first holiday away from home. If it crosses your mind, would you say a quick prayer for me while you're gathered together with your families? That God would ease my heart and my homesickness, and that He would give me great new memories of my own. And please, CHERISH the time you have to spend with your family. Knowing that you're all doing that will make me feel better.

My roommate and I being a little touristy today at Patan Durbar Square.

A Day in the Life.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:11-13 ESV)

My post this week isn't going to be very long, or profound by any means. It's just going to be a glimpse into the life that I love living. I know that there are times coming when I won't appreciate these things, and I may actually come to despise some of them for a while. But for now, I like them. Even love some of them. And I want to take advantage of that!

I was skyping with my boyfriend the other day, and he was asking me questions that I thought were ridiculous, like what king of groceries do you buy? What is culturally appropriate for you to wear? And, my favorite, can you show my inside of your mug so I can see what your tea looks like?

A lot of my journey is going to be spiritual and emotional, but it's also going to be immensely physical. Literally as in I ride a bike everywhere (and I DETEST physical exercise), and not so literally as in the things I see.

So here is a randomly compiled list of things that make up my life, that you may or may not find interesting...
-If I want to buy a bag of M&M's, I have to pay $10.
-We have the option of an Western toilet or a squatty potty in our bathroom...just incase we want to practice!
-Pedestrians DO NOT have the right of way. Neither do bicyclists. Or motorbikes. Or cars. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
-A meal isn't complete to a Nepali if there isn't rice in it, no matter how much food they have eaten.
-Only married women wear red.
-We have THE MOST beautiful view of the Himalayas from our rooftop. But only if it's sunny, you're standing in the far left corner of our roof, and you tilt your head 15* to the left. Just kidding, but you do have to be in the left corner of our roof in the sun.
-We have to heat up water for about 30 minutes to take a warm shower.
-I have only fallen off my bike once...down a hill...in front of 10 or so Nepali men. They all looked amused, except one guy who was doubled over in laughter. You're welcome, sir. I'll be here all year.
-I egregiously over packed for my year here. 
-I painted my room orange when I got here (it glows).
-Making coffee in our French Press is less about the precision, and more about the rush to get the finished product that my roommate and I live off of.
-You can buy knock-off North Face products here for FAR cheaper than you would hope to find them on clearance in the states.
-As a white person, I get stared at...a lot.
-Our house is made of concrete, making it an unearthly temperature that hovers near freezing all the time (at least it feels that way). There's no central heat or fireplace. We have A LOT of blankets.
-Nepalis drink tea with everything.
-Sari shopping is one of the most exciting experiences you could every have (as I discovered this last week with my roommate).
-There is a 54% unemployment rate in Nepal.
-I can buy garlic, two onions, four potatoes, a cucumber, and a lime for just over $1.
-Going out to eat is generally cheaper for two single girls than buying groceries and eating in.
-My scarf fetish has served me well in this cold weather.
-I have to hold my shower head in my hand in my hand to shower (but we have a bath tub, which is a rare commodity here, so it's a fair trade).
-We have "load shedding" which means the government thinks it's ok to turn off you power while you have dinner guests. Not ok, Nepal...not ok.

I hope that gives you a little glimpse into my life here! I love answering questions about being here, so feel free to shoot me an email of a Facebook message and ask away!

Also, I have an address that you can send letters and packages to! If you would like that, let me know I can send it your way.

This week a lot of things got underway for me. I spent some time down at our campus with the women working on making our Mercy Works bags and wallet. I have discovered a gift for wielding chalk and scissors. I also met with Sunu who works at our bakery, every Friday we are going to get together and practice her English. She's very bright! And it's a good lesson for me in Nepali, small talk, and my own language. I also began language learning this week. My teacher, Usha, is very encouraging, which will be necessary as I tackle this difficult language.

This Tuesday is election day, please keep praying! Our prayer this morning at international fellowship was that God would bring to power the politician who will begin to lead this country towards Christ and His glory. We want to keep our hearts and minds set on Him, and we want that for the people of Nepal as well.

Thank you for your prayers! God is giving me strength to face each new day, and each unique challenge. I'm excited to continue to share what He is doing with all of you.

Holding hands.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV)


It's funny how having your hand held can mean so many different things. If your dad holds your hand, you feel safe. If your mom holds your hand, you feel loved. If your significant other holds your hand, you feel cherished. If your best friend holds your hand, you're content.

This week, I had my hand held by many different children. Some because they were happy to see me, some because their feelings had been hurt, and some just because. And every time I felt a tug on my arm, and looked down to see a small brown hand fitting into my ghostly white one, I felt something...I felt AT HOME. Like I belong. Like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

And when three young girls tried to steal my purse this week, I held each of their hands. And I asked their names and how they were doing. I took time to love them the way that Christ would have wanted me to. And now, thanks to my new friends, not only do I have a heightened sense of security, but I have three more sets of hands that I love to hold.

Each person has something in their lives that makes them feel that way. It could be a hug from a certain person, a job well done, a scripture that holds special meaning. For me, it's holding hands with someone who wants desperately to be loved, and to give love. It's the impish grin of a little girl who feels like she's putting her hand in the cookie jar just by sitting in my lap. The sideways glance and slight smirk of a preteen boy who doesn't want you to know that he enjoys your company. Those are the things that make me feel like I belong here. The things that I look forward to, and back on, when I'm having a hard day.

I can't encourage you enough to find that one thing, or two if you're lucky, that make you feel at home. Maybe a cozy blanket, or a sweatshirt that smells like your grandpa. Maybe a picture that brings tears of joy to your eyes. Or, for my roommate, the rain. It's in these things that God gives confirmation, comfort, and a glimpse of eternity. At least he has for me.

Confirmation that I'm right where he wants me. Comfort that no matter where in the world I am, I am loved. And a glimpse of eternity...that somehow God is using me to impact the lives of these women and children for His kingdom and His glory.

And he is using you, too. As a Christian example to your children and coworkers. As an encourager to your hurting friends. As a vessel through which Christ shines. I am praying those things for you. Since I have been here, I have come to truly enjoy time spent praying for other people. It's no longer a checklist or a chore. But something I'm excited to do everyday when I do my devotions. My prayer this week has been that people wouldn't forget that being on mission isn't defined as global actions. They are urban. In your backyard. Literally. In your work place, at the grocery store, amongst your non-believing family members.

This week as you're praying, please pray for yourself! That you wouldn't lose sight of the missions opportunities right in front of you, and that you would also be mindful of global partners like myself and missionaries I work with here. That's my prayer for all of you. Also, that you would find something to "hold your hand."


Wow, it's hard to believe that it's been a month already! A month ago today I was loaded into a van on my way to the airport! It has flown by, and I feel like I left home yesterday. This week the kids had a break from school for 3 days for the festival of Tihar. So I was able to spend a little extra time loving on them, my favorite thing to do! I'll be getting into the swing of things these next two weeks.

Please be praying for the upcoming weeks in Nepal. It's election season, and tomorrow there is supposed to be a complete bundha (strike), which means EVERYTHING will be closed down, all the shops. And the rest of the week there is supposed to be a transportation strike, so no public transportation will be allowed on the streets. Pray for the safety of everyone here during election time, as it is pretty tense. And pray that God's will would be done in the government.

A rough beginning.

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken." (Psalm 16:5-8 ESV)


This week was hard, I'm not going to lie. A lot of things happened that were out of my control, and they all added to up to a really challenging week. For starters, Monday sucked. There really isn't another way to say it. I was horribly home sick, missing my parents, wishing I could sit with them on the couch and laugh at the TV. Or eat a family dinner, homemade straight from the box. I was getting pretty down on myself, which isn't something I normally do.

Generally I'm pretty upbeat, happy to be alive and to get to serve Jesus with each day that I have. But for some reason Monday was different. I don't know if it just hit me that I won't be home for over 11 more months, or if it just got a little overwhelming being here. I went to sleep Monday night with a very heavy heart. And woke up Tuesday morning with a completely different problem...

I was sick to my stomach. Not the "homesick" kind of sick to my stomach. But the "my stomach might make an appearance via my mouth" kind of sick to my stomach. I woke up at 3 am, and proceeded to throw up at least twice an hour...for eleven hours...talk about miserable. My roommate was awesome, she stayed up with me, emptied my bucket (quite a glamorous job), and stayed home from work to take care of me. And then, after 11 hours, we made the judgment call to go to the hospital. This was my first hospital visit EVER, and it was in a third world country. I was more than a little nervous.

We arrived, I got checked in, and they stuck an IV in my arm. I was pumped up with 4 milliliters of anti-nausea medication and 1000 milliliters of saline. It took three hours, but I was finally able to keep down some juice and water. Praise God! We went home, and I promptly fell asleep for 12 hours. The rest of the week I rested.

Saturday I was finally able to go to the campus and see the women and kids. And, to be honest, I didn't want to. My heart was still heavy. I was wrestling between wanting to go home, wanting to stay, and wanting to just mope in my living room a little longer. But I decided I needed to leave the house, so I biked down to the campus. Best. Decision. Ever.

As soon as I entered the gate there were greetings of "Megan Auntie!" and "Hello, Sister!" and "We missed you this week!" And my heart was full. I can't believe it, but as I'm sitting here typing this, I'm crying. For those of you who know me, I'm not much of a crier. But I can't believe how blessed I am to be here. At the end of a really hard week where I just wanted to take a shower without having to hold the shower head in my hand, or feel clean for more than 5 minutes, or not have the power go out two times a day for a total of 8 hours, God showed me his faithfulness. Again. Like He always does. Another confirmation that I'm where I'm supposed to be. It's pretty overwhelming.

Now that I'm getting in to the swing of things, please continue praying for me! I really want to find a place that I fit in here. I'm the one single girl amongst four married couples that I'm working with, and I really want to find a good spot for me to fit in the team. Please pray that I would have patience in doing that! Hopefully I will be getting some responsibilities this week, and begin language learning soon. I'm so excited for things to really begin picking up.

A quick side note, PLEASE KNOW THAT GOD IS ANSWERING YOUR PRAYERS. Every time I have written a prayer request, it has been undeniably answered by God. The older girls at the campus are more comfortable around me now, I'm meeting many new people, and God has given me peace amidst the hard times already. THANK YOU for praying. It means the world to me.

Everyone has an addiction.

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:28-29 ESV)

This last week has been a strange one. Sort of an in-between time for me. The short term team that I traveled with to get here left Tuesday night to return home, and there were a few days of adjustment to finish settling in to my new home. With a decent lack of things to do, came a scary situation for me. Let me explain.

 

I have an addictive personality. Meaning that I latch on to something, and ride the wave until it crashes to the shore, usually tossing me on my face somewhere along the way. And when I have time to sit around, generally I find something, not always a good thing, to latch on to. So the decision I needed to make this week was "what am I going to latch on to?" A television show? No, because we don't have cable here. A new music artist? Maybe, but I don't really want to spend the money on buying a bunch of new songs. Pick up a hobby? I really have no idea what they do here for hobbies, so probably not.

In my past, my "hobbies" and "extracurricular activities" involved things that were detrimental to my health. All throughout high school I struggled with eating disorders; anorexia, bulimia, diet pills...you name it. And that was the addiction that dominated my life, self harm. I new that moving here would present new struggles in that area of my life. New challenges I hadn't faced before, old demons that would surface again. I knew that I would be facing that temptation of addiction again. It was, and is, pretty scary for me. And then, Tuesday night, it clicked...

 

ADDICTION ISN'T ALWAYS BAD.
 

I was sitting and talking with the short term team, and some of the missionaries here on the ground in Nepal. Kimberly, who has been here almost 7 months, was talking with us about the ministry. And she was sharing that her hope and prayer is that if it came down to her or her husband Ben giving their lives so that one more person would come to know Christ, they would do it willingly. GLADLY. She began to cry as she told us this, conviction and determination in her voice. And all I could think was "God, PLEASE let me be like her when I grow up." What an incredible testimony of ADDICTION to God. She is so in love with our Savior. Addicted to him.
 

I want that kind of addiction in my life. I want to be so addicted to God that I can't fathom doing anything without him, without talking to him, without spending quality time with him. I want to have that kind of faith. I want to be addicted to my Jesus. And I want it to be contagious, like Kimberly's is for me. I want to get the women and children here at the campus addicted to Christ. And the cool thing, the wonderful thing, is that I can't do that. Only God can. He can choose to shine his light through me into the lives of the people here that I have the privilege of working with.
 

A wise monkey once told me, "The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." For those of you who had a deprived childhood, that monkey is Rafiki, and he knows what's up. I have decided to LEARN from my past. To learn that addiction isn't always bad. Every has something they are addicted to, whether it's drugs, alcohol, pornography, pride, anger, laziness, or like me, eating disorders. And on some level, that addiction defines you. So choose what your addiction is. Put off the old ways, and put on the righteousness of Christ.
 

And that's my prayer request this week. That I would be addicted to God. And that through that, God would become the addiction of many men, women, and children here in Nepal. Please pray that as I adjust and I begin to realize that this truly is my new life, that God would be the addiction I run to, not my past.
 

"Don't shine so that others can see you, shine so that through you, others can see Him." C.S.Lewis

After All.

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast lobe of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'" (Lamentations 3:21-24 ESV)

This last week has been amazing. Getting settled in to my flat, getting to know my roommate better, loving on children, and getting to see God's people worshipping in many different settings. And through it all the lyrics of one of my favorite songs were always on my mind: "After all, You are constant. After all, You are only good. After all, You are sovereign. Not for a moment did you forsake me." What an incredible reminder.

Do you ever have those days where you wish that you could go back in time and put a word in the Bible in capitol letters? Just to make it stand out more. To make people notice it more. In the verse I started this post with, that word would be HOPE. I have seen hope in so many peoples eyes this last week. Every where from fellow bideshi (that's Nepali for 'foreigner') on Sunday morning, to the children at the campus I fell in love with this week. They all have HOPE. The same hope that I have. Hope in eternal life, in a God whose love never fails. Whose mercies are new EVERY morning.

I even saw that hope as I hiked to the top of a mountain with my teammates who are still in country with me. We passed house after house, home after home, that are no bigger than my bedroom. With upwards of 5 people living in them. Made of mud and sticks. And I thought "God why is this fair? These people have nothing. And I have everything I could ever want. Why are they the ones who have to live these hard, sad lives?" I got really down on myself. Almost depressed. And then I saw their eyes. I saw that HOPE. The hope that we share in Christ Jesus. And I realized that they had everything they will ever need. Everything they could ever want...in Christ and Christ alone. Whoa. Talk about a reality check. They don't need fancy cars, or any kind of transportation; a smart phone, or any kind of communication; hair products, anything other than a hairbrush. They have it all. God is all they need. All they want.

And those lyrics came to mind again. "After all, You are CONSTANT. After all, You are ONLY GOOD. After all, You are SOVEREIGN." God is still God here in Nepal. And even when I don't understand him, he is good. All the time. And the Nepali Christians know that. We were visiting with Ram Saran, a Nepali pastor trained by Joel Garrison, and he spoke of how lonely he gets, and how hard it is being so far away from fellowship, and from support. But he prays to God. And God gives him comfort. And Ram said that God sent us to him, because God knew how lonely he was that day. How incredibly humbling to be such a small part of God's kingdom, and of his plan, but to have made such a big impact in the life of this servant.

While we were visiting with Ram, we were able to witness three baptisms of Nepali believers. So amazing to watch these professions of faith in a culture where it is unacceptable to follow Jesus. These men and women were testaments to how God is at work in this country!

I'm still in awe that God chose me, ME, to be where I am now. He had his choice of anyone in the world, and he chose me. They are people who are far more qualified than I am to be here, and yet he chose me. That's pretty cool. And incredibly humbling.

Please continue to pray for me! I have begun to build relationships with the missionaries here on the field, and I am excited about the friendships that I'm forming. I have also been able to build friendships with some of the younger girls at the campus; Sanjita, Sunita, Babita, and Astha have become my little buddies. Pray that I would be able to break down some barriers of shyness and unfamiliarity with the older girls. And pray that God would continue to be at work in my heart! So far He has been a constant comfort to me, and I am so thankful that this far the transition has been easy. I know hard days are coming, but I also know that I have a CONSTANT God to lean on.

God Bless!

It's the little things.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1: 3-6 ESV)



I made it! I'm in Nepal. We arrived late Friday night (which is Friday morning in the States) safe and sound!

Leaving Thursday morning with the team was difficult. I was incredibly sad to leave my friends and family, but I had so much excitement in the moment, I don't think I realized I was actually leaving. It was such a blur! I was fine during all the long flights, the sleepless 30 hours of travel, and airplane food that left me hungry. But when the plane landed in Kathmandu and the young man sitting next to me said "welcome to Nepal," I lost it. I kept thinking "what have I done?" "God why did I do this?" I wanted to skip immigration and hop on the next flight home.

Then I stepped off the plane. And I smelled it. And I fell in love all over again. Not because it smelled good, because it didn't (it was like a mix between curry, garbage, and urine). But because God used the little things to confirm to me that I was in the right place. A familiar smell, and familiar face when we saw Joel waiting outside the airport for us. And the familiar cold tile of the guest house as we lugged 12 fifty pound bags up three flights of stairs.

It was the little thing of having a handful of girls from the orphanage remember me from last year. Running up to me yelling "Auntie! Auntie!" And holding my hand while we walked around the new campus. What a huge blessing to me! God is so good.

As I'm typing this post, I'm sitting in the kitchen of my new flat with my roommate, and I'm listening to the rain. THE RAIN. God knew I needed a little tasted of home today. The little thing of having a rainy day when there shouldn't have been one was perfect for my homesick heart.

Thank you for your prayers for me and the short-term team I'm traveling with on our journey! God heard you.

Tomorrow we start VBS with the children at the campus. Thursday we leave to travel out to Chitwan, a village about an 8 hour drive and 2 hour hike away. Please be praying for us as we do these things! We want God to be glorified and the people we encounter to be loved on.

The day before I left, Pastor Koby invited me to come to staff chapel at Canyon Hills Community Church, and he did a devotional that was incredibly encouraging to me. He reminded me that BEFORE the FOUNDATION of the world was made, God knew I would be here. Right now. In Nepal. What peace that gives me.

I cannot begin to tell you how blessed I have been by all of your prayers. They are making a difference. Please continue to pray! Please pray that God would fuel my excitement and my love for the people I will get to work with. And pray that the short-term team and I would stay healthy while we're here. But most of all pray for the Nepali people.

Right now they are celebrating the festival called Dashain (pronounced dah-sigh), and they are sacrificing thousands of animals in Kathmandu and the surrounding cities. They are so lost. They think that these sacrifices will appease their gods. Please be praying that the ministry the Garrison's have set up here would shed light on the Gospel. That the Nepali people would know about the One True Sacrifice.

God bless you!

I can't believe this is my life.

"What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, 'go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." (James 2:14-17 ESV)

I was talking with my future roommate this past weekend, and she so eloquently said "sometimes I can't believe this is my life." I'm positive I couldn't have said it better myself! I can't believe that THIS is my life. It's so not how I saw my life going. Mid-term missions doesn't fit into the American Dream. But it fits into God's will for my life. 

That's where I find myself right now. Living in God's will. Facing a scary adventure far away, in a foreign nation, but totally at peace. More at peace than I have ever been in my life, more than I ever imagined was possible. Because my God, THE God, has got me right where He wants me. 

The "see you laters" have started, and while they are heart-crushing (the heart is a muscle and can't be broken, only crushed), I have so much hope coming out of them. This trip isn't just about me, and how God is going to grow me, but how God will effect the people I'm leaving behind through the stories I will get to share. And I CANNOT WAIT to share them with you! 

Thursday is the day. I'm leaving with an eternal mindset, and a heart full of Christ's love for the people of Nepal! I know we are commanded not to covet in the Bible, but I covet your prayers! I'm going to need them in the good times, the victories, the hard times, when I'm frustrated, and when I just want to come home. 

I'll post again when I'm settled in to my flat!

I Am Not Good Enough

"For by grace you have been saved. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:8-10, ESV)

I have never claimed to be smart. I don't have a lot of knowledge, and I don't consider myself to be very wise. Although I try my best at everything I do, I'm not good at many things. And that's ok. In fact, that's great! 

Sometimes I find myself saying, "God look at me! Look at what I can do!" I try to prove to Him that I'm worth something. That I'm worth Him looking at me, noticing me. That He should be mindful of me. Like I deserve it. And every time I do that, I walk away feeling adequate, feeling unnoticed, and like God wasn't impressed by me. I used to hate that. Not feeling good enough or worthy is a brutal place to be. And in my past it has gotten me into a world of hurt. 

But now I'm grateful, and thankful, for that feeling. Oddly, I get excited when my pride is shot down. Because it drives me back to the cross. It reminds me of what Christ did for me. Of how much He loves me. And of how unworthy I am of a gift of such great magnitude. 

I never thought I would say these next words...I LOVE being "not good enough." It denies me any and all glory. Not being good enough points me to God, and His ultimate glory. And I hope and pray that it points other people to him as well. 

The coolest part of all this is...wait for it...hold on...CHRIST IS GOOD ENOUGH. And every time I mess up, and every time I'm not faithful to God, He says, "it's ok, I am good enough. I have covered you with an everlasting and unfailing love." Romans 3:10-11 says "as it is written: no one is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God." BUT in our imperfections, in our failures, in our "not good enough," God pursues us. Hard. 

So I'm thankful that I'm not good enough. I am glad that during my time in Nepal there is not a single thing I can do on my own. Every breath and every step is by the grace of God ALONE. And the love I will show the Nepalese people won't be my own imperfect, faulty, selfish love. It will be Christ's. Because He is good enough. 

It's getting close you guys! 22 days, 17 hours, and 1 minute! There will be an open house "See You Later" party for me at Canyon Hills Community Church on Monday October 7th from 6:30-8:30. Please come by! I would love to see you there!

Lead me to the Rock

"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy." (Psalm 61:1-3, ESV)

This post is going to be filled with a lot of bragging. Bragging on God. The way He has been at work has completely blown my mind, and I wasn't planning to post again so soon, but what He has done can't be ignored!

This whole process of preparing to leave and the idea of stepping out and moving to Nepal for a year has been very daunting. And honestly, absolutely terrifying. But every step of the way, God has met my fear with His sufficiency, and with His divine provision. When I was afraid to leave my family for a year, God gave me the Garrison's. Joel and Sue, and their sons Isaac and Elliot will provide a "family" for me while I'm away from home. Seeing their loving spirits, and their humble characters, has already begun to ease the ache in my heart.

When I was scared to live on my own...for the first time...half-way across the world...He gave me Stephanie. And not only did He give me a roommate, but God blessed me and my mom with the opportunity to meet her and her mom last Friday while she was home in southern Washington on leave. She has been there two and a half years, and she knows her way around town. Literally. Having her friendship and companionship will make this transition easier. And I'm looking forward to having my first roommate!

The idea of raising over $21,000 in just 5 months was incredibly intimidating. And to be honest, I doubted, quite frequently, that God would provide all of the funds for me to go. I kept saying things like "it's too much," "there's no way." I put God in the box of "not big enough to handle my problems." And I was completely humbled today when I was told that not only had all of the funds been raised, but also an extra $3,500. Wow. It hasn't sunk in yet. I'm not sure when it will, but I can already tell that it will be one of those moments that I will never forget.

I want to leave with two quotes that have been an encouragement to me. Of all places, I found them on Pinterest, so while I can't tell you who said them, I can tell you that I'm thankful for the person who did.

"Let your faith be bigger than your fear."
"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you."

My Adventure

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8 ESV)

My goal is to be like Isaiah, to follow wherever God leads me, and to go willingly and excitedly. And this next year is going to be a time for me to put that into practice! I'm leaving this October to move to the country of Nepal for a year, and serve God alongside missionaries who show God's unconditional love to the lost people of this Hindu nation. 

This blog will be a place for me to write about God's victories, my struggles, and the experiences that I will have while I'm gone. My hope and prayer is that through this blog you will get a glimpse into the work that God is doing in the lives of people half-way around the world who speak a different language, worship different gods, and may have never heard the name Jesus Christ. Above all else, my goal is that God would be glorified. 

As I prepare over these next few months (58 days until I go!) I would ask that you partner with me in prayer. Here are a few things that I would covet your prayers for:
-finances; I am just over $6,000 short of my goal of $21,640. 
-peace; as I prepare and the time gets closer, anxieties and fears creep up, the devils way of trying to get me to believe that God isn't big enough to take care of me.
-the Nepali people; that God would do an amazing work in these people before I get there, while I'm in country, and long after I leave. 

If you would like to help support me financially, you can give in two ways; the first is a one time gift given to Canyon Hills Community Church, either through our online giving on our website or in the mail. Or, you can send monthly support while I'm gone, and give the same way, but in smaller amounts each of the 12 months I'm away. If you feel led to support me, the most important thing to remember is that my name cannot be on a check anywhere, in the subject line please put "mid-term Nepal". 

Thank you for your support, prayerfully and/or financially. It truly means the world to me. I'm excited for this adventure with God, and I hope that you'll follow along with me as I go!