T-minus 30 days.

I will be leaving Nepal in ONE MONTH. I don't think that I have words to describe or express to you how incredibly bittersweet that is for me. Yes, I will be returning to my passport country, my first home. To family and friends and familiarity. But I will also be leaving behind my adoptive country, my second home. My new family and friends, my new normal.

There were many moments, and some times those moments lasted days, over the last 11 months when I thought I would never see America again. When it felt like the end would never be in sight. Yet, here I am. Almost finished with my time here, and far more captivated by the terror that it's actually ending than the terror I felt when I thought it never would.

But instead of wallowing in fear, anxiety and trepidation, I want to celebrate. Celebrate the amazing people I have met, the incredible experiences I have had, and the unforgettable memories I have been given.

So, to highlight my new normal, here is a list of things that I will no longer be doing in a month....

• Chatting with my Didi over chiya every Tuesday and Thursday
• Riding, un-seat-belted, in taxis barreling down narrow alleys
• Letting my girls play with (really, pull out) my hair
• Bartering for EVERYTHING I buy
• Trying, and failing, to eavesdrop on the Nepali conversation happening at the next table
• Teaching English to my kids
• Being ogled by Nepali men
• Catching up with the corner grocery man when I go shopping
• Visiting with our widows while they bake (and sneak me treats)
• Using my pinky finger to indicate I need to use the restroom
• Closing my eyes, holding my breath, and saying a prayer as I cross the street
• Bouncing around on the back of a motorbike with no helmet
• Waggling my head to indicate assent
• Talking to my kids about Jesus
• Feeling outrage at the price of a can of tuna ($2.50) vs the price of a kilo of asparagus ($1)
• Entering the shotgun seat of a car on the left side of the vehicle
• Pointing at things with my lips and nose instead of my fingers
• Watching the regularity of (or lack thereof) my bowel movements to determine my health status
• Buying out the grocery store's entire stock of refried beans, who knows when you'll see them again?!
• Falling asleep to the symphony of barking dogs, honking horns, and restaurant karaoke 

What an incredible gift I have been given, to spend the last year in Nepal. To grow in ways that weren't feasible to me before. To be closer to becoming the woman that God desires for me to be!

There have been good days, bad days, days when I just sat and cried, and days that I never wanted to end. And through it all, God has been my Rock. My fortress. My joy, shelter, friend. My Lord.

As it comes to an all too abrupt ending, and I face the uncertainty of what comes next, I believe that God will continue to be those things for me.

I am forever grateful for the friendships I have formed, the cultural mistakes I have made, the kids and widows I have loved on. These are memories I will carry in my heart. And memories that I will continue to make until my last day.