Floundering by grace.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ESV)


Flounder, v: to struggle with stumbling or plunging movements, to struggle clumsily or helplessly.

Also known as...

Flounder, v: the story of my life back in America.

I can't tell you the number of times I have walked away from an encounter and been horribly embarrassed. Either because I didn't know the appropriate way to respond in an American culture, or because a machine or device bemused me more than my brain could comprehend.

Like the time I tried to park in a parking garage, and instead of pushing the clearly labelled button for a ticket, I chose to stick my debit card into the ticket dispenser. Obviously that was the only logical thing to do! After over a minute of panicking, the parking attendant came over, rolled his eyes at me, then fished my debit card out of the machine and got me a ticket. I was mortified.

But no matter how many times I do silly things, or how many times I see the blatantly unnecessary and luxurious things Americans have and do that make me feel even more out of place, God has been good to show me his grace every step of the way.

And he has been determined that I understand his persistence to be faithful to me, and to bless me beyond my wildest dreams. He has given me a place to serve in my church, he has given me a community of incredible people to grow alongside, and he has given me a full time job that I have done nothing to deserve.

Even though these last two and a half weeks have been full of floundering, I have come to see this floundering as a gift of grace. God has allowed me to grow to love a people on the other side of the world, who are so different than what I was used to. He allowed me to fall in love with Nepal, with the culture there. And he gave me my kids, the greatest gift of all.

And so it doesn't matter how hard it is to adjust to America, and believe me it's hard, or how many times I feel dumb for not remembering how to do something. It's all a part of the incredible journey that he has me on. And if he was faithful to get me through the navigation of a foreign culture, I believe that he will get me through the uncomfortable task of relearning my passport culture.

God is always good, and he always warrants glory. I can only hope that somehow my floundering can bring him the glory he so deserves.