"If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them, then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit." (Leviticus 26:3-4 ESV)
Mary Poppins has mislead me. No amount of sugar will make this last week easier to handle. Although, believe me, I tried.
This last week was full of a lot of activity. Working, planning, walking, and relationship building. But it wasn't quite enough to distract me from being homesick.
This was the first time that I've truly wanted to be home more than I've wanted to be in Kathmandu. I've missed home before, but not quite this much. God and I had a lot of time spent together talking about just this. A lot of time spent doing what I considered to be negotiation.
Although I know it wasn't really negotiating. That's not how God works. I don't get to tell him that in exchange for something, I expect him to give me something else.
At one point I even questioned if it was right for me to be here. Not in the I've-made-a-grave-mistake kind of way. More like a woe-is-me-I-want-to-go-home sort of way.
And I may have cried a little. Or a lot.
As I was having this inner warfare with myself, I asked God (well, unfortunately it was more like a demand) to give me some way to deal with all of the emotions that were raging through me. That was part of my "negotiation" with him.
And the second after I said "amen" it started.
The rain.
Not just rain. But a torrential downpour. And 50 mph wind that kicked up dust in the streets and banged my doors and windows. And thunder and lightning.
I LOVE the rain. Not like someone loves mint chocolate chip ice cream, but the way that someone loves their favorite pet. Or their first car. Or the way their mom used to play with their hair.
Rain has a calming effect on my heart like nothing else in this world. I could sit and listen to it for hours and hours and not get bored. And when I'm struggling with something, whether it's drama or work or anything, rain is the one thing that will calm me down.
As it poured, I sat curled up in my bed with hot cocoa and some worship music. And I just sat. And I prayed. And I thanked God for giving me a little bit of peace amidst the storm. Even though it was really more of a storm amidst the storm.
It reminded me so much of home. So much of everything that I left behind to come here. So much of the people I love.
And as I sat there talking with God, he reminded me of something so important. He reminded me of how his Son was like the rain.
How he washed me, and cleansed me from all of my sin and dirt. Just like this rain was washing the city of all it's gunk.
A gentle reminder that in light of the punishment I deserve, feeling down on my luck is a small price to pay. And for the lives that will be impacted through God's will, my suffering seems insignificant.
And all it took to remind me of that was a bit of a storm, and a little rain.
So I'll hold on to all of the good things God has done for me. And I'll remind myself of all the promises he has fulfilled, and the ones that I'm counting on still. And when I'm feeling down, I'll just pray for the rain.
Rain is a better cure than sugar could ever be.
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