My girls and their gifts.

"For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one spirit we were all baptized into one body--Jews or Greeks, slaves or free--and were all made to drink of one spirit." (1 Corinthians 12:12-13 ESV)



God never ceases to teach me the lesson of faithfulness. He can't deny himself, and by nature he is faithful. And he showed me this lesson once again, yesterday.

It was set up to be a lesson for girls club that was based on Miriam, Moses' sister. I worked diligently to prepare the story, and to portray the lessons of leadership, prayer, patience, and faith. I was so excited about this lesson! But Saturday morning as I reviewed and prepared my lesson, I felt God speaking to my heart that this wasn't the right time to teach this particular lesson. I can't lie, I was a little disappointed. I REALLY wanted to share this story with my girls! But God knows best.

So I scraped the idea and began racking my mind for a new story. I had about an hour to come up with a new lesson. To say I was a little stressed would be an understatement. But God is faithful! And he gave me the idea via my roommate's mom on Skype!

The Samaritan woman at the well.

A sinner just like me, just like you, just like my girls. Someone who was thirsty. And who found Living Water.

Someone who, just like my girls, was undervalued by her society. She was mocked, scorned, and cast out. Not given a second chance, or even a first glance.

In Nepali society, women aren't important. They aren't given the time of day. Especially young women and girls. They are raised to be wives and mothers, and not much else. These girls don't understand that they have value. That they matter. That they are MORE than what society tells them they are.

And God has burdened my heart with the need and desire to show them who they are in Christ. That they matter to him.

And girls club is just one, small way that I can begin to teach them that.


For being a despised place in history, Samaria had some people who really got it right. The Good Samaritan, he had his head on straight. And this woman, this sinful, adulterous woman...she got it right, too. She used her spiritual gift of evangelism to influence an entire town for Christ! She gives an incredible example of what it means to use the gifts God has given each and every one of us in a way that honors and glorifies God.

Most of my girls had never heard of spiritual gifts. They didn't know that they were good at things, let alone things that could influence The Kingdom. No one had taken the time to show them the abilities that God has gifted them with. And I can't blame them, what a daunting task! But yesterday I set out to do my very best to teach these girls how to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I started teaching the lesson. I told of the Samaritan woman and her faith, and taught about Living Water. I explained that God has given each person a gift or talent that they can use to glorify him. How we each play an important role in the body of Christ. We can't all be eyes, or fingers, or knees. That would be a funny looking body. We each bring something different, something necessary, to the party.

It was hard for them to understand at first. I'm not sure that they totally understood that THEY were the ones who could influence their community for Christ. That they have VALUE. That they are GOOD at something.

My heart breaks because they can't see their importance. We've talked about how God spent an unbelievable amount of time designing each of them to perfection on the outside. And yesterday we talked about the inside. What really matters. And by the end of the time we had together I think it was beginning to click for some of them.

I asked for five volunteers to share out loud what gifts they thought God had given them. No one said anything. A record breaking 23 faces stared back at me. I waited...

And waited...

And then, out of the corner of my eye I caught the movement of someone timidly raising their hand. Oh the JOY I felt right then!

"Prayer, encouragement, and teaching," were the four sweet words that came out of Sanjina's mouth.

Next I heard "service, encouragement, giving" offered by Bristi.

And as three other girls stepped up to share, I couldn't help but sit there in awe as I saw God at work in the hearts of these girls, right before my own eyes. How GOOD he is!

Girls club has been, and will continue to be, the highlight of my time here. God is teaching me a lot through these girls. Through their simple faith, their remarkable intelligence, and their desire and eagerness to learn about Jesus.

It is a privilege that I cannot describe in words to work with these girls.

Compassion, grace, and judgement.

"What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."" (Romans 9:14-15 ESV)


What an incredible time spent away with friends! I'm truly beyond blessed to have had the opportunity to travel and see parts of this world that I hadn't hoped to experience.

And while I had the most amazing time basking in the warmth, laughing with friends, and resting, my heart was wrestling with God over something...

Over the course of the trip, I was witness to two different older men, on two different occasions that were taking vacations with Filipino escorts they had hired. And they were by no means ashamed of this. The girls were you, around my age. And their eyes were...hollow. Their smiles half-hearted. Their actions clearly rehearsed.

My heart was crushed a little more each time I saw these two "couples." I wanted to wrap those girls up in my arms and tell them everything was going to be ok. That Jesus loved them more than they could imagine, more than anything they had ever done. And if only they would look to Him, God would no longer see their sin, but rather the righteousness of our Savior.

And I found myself growing angry. Angry at these men for paying for the services of the escorts. Mad at these girls for not seeing their true worth. And, as hard as it is for me to admit this right now, I was becoming angry with God.

I wanted to yell. At everyone. "CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" It wasn't fair. It's NOT fair. God, why is this happening to them? Why aren't you smiting these men, and rescuing these girls? Why don't I have the power to help them? Why? Why? Why?

But all I could manage was a tight smile and polite conversation.

I have never felt injustice so relevantly as I did on this vacation. And it made my blood boil.

And it seemed as though on every corner there were young children, no more than 5 or 6, begging for money. My weakness. And again, I found myself becoming angry with God.

We have had this conversation many times, God and me. And I thought I was finally at a place where I could handle it, cope with it. Apparently not.

There was one little girl in particular. Her eyes were crusted over. She was wearing a slip of a dress in the pouring rain. Begging for money. I couldn't even look her in the eye. I just kept walking.

I. Kept. Walking.

How desperately she needed to be loved. To receive a hug. To be told how beautiful she looked in her pink flowered dress. To be given a glimpse of Jesus' love for her.

God, why do these kids need to live like this? Why can't you provide for their families? Why can't you give salvation to their pimps so that they can go free? Why couldn't I find the compassion to give her a smile? To hold her hand?

I've never prayed so much. Asking...more like demanding...God to answer my questions. Like he owes me something. Like I deserve an answer. And every time I yelled at him, every time I laid blame upon the Spotless Lamb, he gave me back something that I will never deserve.

GRACE.

Grace, and Isaiah 55:8-9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares The Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

I don't understand why those girls are in the escort business...why those children are begging on the street. I will probably never understand. But I do know one thing, I need to be the best example of Jesus to them, and everyone, that I can. I might be the only "Jesus" somebody sees that day. And I need to live how Jesus did: loving each person who crossed his path, and always giving glory to God.

And I need to leave judgement in God's hands. It's not my place to cast judgment on those men. Or those girls. Or the kids. Or their pimps. My job is simply to love them. All the time. No matter what. My sins are just as grave as theirs.

My heart is devastated. Racked with pain and the feeling of injustice. But I have faith, and hope, that as I continue to talk to God about this, he will calm my heart. Give me peace. Remind me of his complete, divine sovereignty. And I pray that I never lose this sense of hurt. I want God to ALWAYS break my heart the way his breaks. To ALWAYS see his children the way he sees them. And I want to ALWAYS run to his arms when I do.